A friend once told us that he is not ready to get married yet. Whoever is anyway? Nobody is ever ready or know the full concept of anything until one take that first major step. And then some say it gets easier after that. We will see. After all, relationship is always something you have to work for with all these compromises and whatnots.
After a month of being a Bum, here is what I’m missing from my previous life:
The Food. I have a thing for dried fishes / squids, tamarind soup dishes, misua, lechon, street foods, seafoods, and other Filipino foods. These are the foods I’m used to and I am having my withdrawal symptoms here.
The Space. There is a saying that “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days”. And both Dennis and I are adjusting to the idea that none of us are guests to each other anymore. I mean, we are both used to having our own bed and our own freaking toilet even but now, we have to deal with each other’s snores, farts, falling hair, mood swings, ideas of how things should be done, among many others. It is like getting to know each other all over again. But as long as we do NOT forget that we can never make anyone 100% happy (nobody can because happiness is our own’s responsibility) then we shouldn’t have no reason to be too frustrated about anything really.
The Climate. My first autumn has just arrived and yet I am already wearing the Down feather Jacket. Goodluck to me on my first winter.
The Friends. Obviously, I don’t have a single friend in our area, so I am sort of outcast here in our small town. I don’t know if there are other Pinays aside from myself living here, and my neighbors have their own lives so having no one (except Dennis) to talk to about anything is kind of sad.
The Family. I lived with my parents since I was born, and I was accustomed to waking up every morning with food on the table (cooked by my loving mom). I am used to be greeted by my Auntie and Uncle (in Tagalog) whenever I pass by at their house. I miss my nephew and niece’s bickering now, though I must admit I hated it when I was there. Dennis’ family is very welcoming and already regarded me as their daughter even if we weren’t married yet, but it’s kinda different to talk to them the way I talked to my parents. I can’t have a good laugh with Dennis’ brothers/sister the way I did with my cousins due to language, obviously.
The Financial Independence. I was a corporate slave for 7 years and based on the wage standard in Manila I freaking well earn good enough money. And being a non-working wifey is a 180-degree different from that lifestyle. Of course, all my basic needs have been fully met and more. For example, Dennis bought me the most expensive jacket I ever got at 8000 pesos and I know that if I ask for something within reason, he will give it to me. But the idea of having to talk about it first with anyone other than myself is something I am not used to for almost a decade.
The Career. There is no doubt in my mind that the most important thing I would like to have now is a baby. But having a baby is not something that will happen TOMORROW. But unfortunately, I have very limited options at the moment no thanks to language barrier so it is something I have to work on first before anything else.
So, these are the things that Dennis and I have discussed for now. The thing about moving across the country to be with Dennis is that he still have his own pace while I have to find my own again in this new world. It can be quite overwhelming, you know.